120 Days of Writing – Lessons Learned

[DAY 120 OF THE DEEP END PROJECT]

Cue the Confetti, Pop the Champagne. 

I did it!

120 days ago I embarked on what seemed to me at that time, an impossible and crazy journey.

One Hundred And Twenty Days of daily self expression. Published everyday on my blog. 

For *real* people to see. And judge. And form opinions about me. 

This project had every characteristic to make me stay in bed, hidden under covers all day, everyday. 

But I didn’t. (Thank God!)

Because, let’s be honest even if there’s no real confetti or champagne or anyone waiting at the finishing line for me to hand me a big fat check, I still f*cking did it. 

I’ll applaud myself but not just because I wrote every single day. NBD. Seth Godin writes every single day.

But because I did it without fear, fully knowing that even though I knew some of my articles will make people uncomfortable like the one on Racism or where I declared I’m a priestess or I confessed to being a Judgement addict…….

……….I still was able to write, hit publish and be mostly okay everyday.

 

What a privilege that is. 

To be able to self express.

My mom didn’t have it. Even though she was the most badass person ever with a sharp tongue, she’d still hesitate in saying some of the things I did. 

And my grandma. She only spoke when she was spoken to. I can never in a million years imagine she’d have made it without being emotionally lynched at.

And what about centuries ago? When women were physically lynched at, put on trials and executed for having a voice. 

A voice. 

Our God Given Voice.

That we did not, could not….and even now after centuries and centuries later, do not use without fear. 

So yeah I’m freakin’ proud I did it. 

These past 120 days have changed me. I won’t say it’s been a full circle moment. 

Because I’m not where I started. I’m somewhere, I’m someone totally new. It’s like I’ve shed a layer and now I have new skin (It’s not baby soft, but I’ll take it)

When I started this writing project, there was a fire burning inside of me. I was so sick of performative, structured, produced content on Social Media. 

I was sick of Social Media. Period.

I couldn’t even scroll without getting completely triggered by someone on Instagram.

But it wasn’t them. It never is. All they were was a mirror. 

Showing me what I desired the most in my life. 

Full Self Expression. To be myself.

Many people have asked me what are the lessons I’ve learned in these 120 days and even though I think the lessons will be revealed to me over time, here are a few major ones:

 

    1. Commitment equals Integrity – Integrity is my top Core Value. I pride myself on being someone with a very high meter of Integrity. Yet, when it came to my own commitments, I’d always fall short. I’d always break the promises I made to myself. In short, my integrity to myself was…. let’s say lacking. I needed to change that. I needed to keep my commitment to myself to keep my integrity.

    2. Volume beats People Pleasing – The first 30 days I struggled with this A LOT. Whenever I didn’t get “likes” and “comments”, it hugely disappointed me. I had to remind myself that I was doing it for myself, not for others. This total reliance on pleasing everyone (A Manifestor’s Achilles Heel) and getting approval from everyone also led to my now famous Instagram Rant where I deleted 2500 people (I don’t regret it at all), at the same time it probably wasn’t the best use of my time.

      Over time, the need to please eased up. By day 90 I really didn’t care. Some of my posts got 1 like or zero comments and it did not bother me at all. Two reasons 1) I had no intention of writing all great articles. I knew (as I’ve learned from Seth Godin) that only 50% of my writing was above average and 50% below average and that was A okay with me 2) Because I was creating in Volume, what mattered the most was I wrote for 120 days. Period. That was my objective. Churn. Churn. Churn.

    3. Getting over my own shit – We all have our shit. I’d have a tantrum or two once in a while too. Some days I just didn’t want to write. Some days I wanted to kill myself for starting this project. Some days I would grit my teeth and hated this thing called “google docs”. But every single day, I had to ask myself “are you done now? Can we go write?” Every day required me to have a tantrum, move through my feelings and get over my own shit!

    4. Strength is in communities – Last 20 days were the hardest. I was done by Day 100. Oh I most definitely was done. Last 20 days have been hard, hard, hard. I felt like I had talked about everything I wanted to. I’d even write a few pages on topics and then realise “Oh I already wrote about this same exact thing on Day 23.” I did not expect that. I had expected the last 20-30 days to be a breeze. Which is why I was so fortunate to enroll my community into the challenge. Their Accountability kept me going. I’m so thankful for the ladies who participated in the Deep End 30 Day Challenge. They helped me finish the challenge strong!

    5. Vulnerability is a strength – There’s something so powerful about being Vulnerable and yet standing with your head held high. I can’t even explain the feeling. It’s not pride. It’s not the opposite of shame. It’s how Truth feels in your body. Like clear water from a Spring. Like a rose that just bloomed. Like that fresh breeze on your face. Like the touch of your lover. It’s pure. It’s love. It’s the best feeling ever.

I have so many people to thank for making this Project possible. My incredible coach, Laura Wright, who had put the seed of The Deep End in my belly. I thank her for her support and her life sized compassion.

My mentor Laura Belgray who has been such a big cheerleader in a hard season of my life. 

My friends Swapna Patel, Brenna Mc Gowan, Cindy Childress, and many others who have been supporting me and encouraging me every step of the way.

And ofcourse my beautiful, gorgeous community. My Facebook Group –  Create your Rich Lady Life & Biz and my Instagram peeps for reading. Your words, your comments are appreciated more than you know!

I dove in The Deep End.

I came out the other side. 

Whole. Complete. Fully me.

For now, this project is complete. 

Now, what challenge should I do next? Bollywood Dance? Reels? Tik Tok? Hula Hoop?

 

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